How to Have a Life-Defining Relationship - Russell Verhey - Episode 17

Russell Verhey is on a mission to build leaders; Leaders who have committed their lives for redemptive purposes. As a coach and author, his passion is to move leaders from inspiration to impact in their area of influence. He graduated with a Bachelors of Arts in Entrepreneurship from Kennesaw State University, and a Master's Degree in Leadership Development from Denver Seminary.

He’s run his own business, been part of R12 and Vistage business round tables, and invested in the lives of CEOs through his work as a coach and chair of Convene in Colorado Springs. He now runs The Advance, an organization he founded a few years ago to meet the expanding leadership development needs and team challenges of his leadership clients.

The most important thing to him is his faith and family. He says, God is the source of every good thing in his life.  He and his wife Cari have been married for 23 years and they have three children.

You can check out his work at or


The Conversationalist by Russell Verhey

The Conversationalist Course

Journey Pastoral Coaching

Episode Audio:

Chapter 1 - You Were Made for Relationships

Here at Daily Growth Discipleship, we believe there are 5 steps to creating a lifestyle of discipleship. And step 3 is walking with others. We weren’t meant to walk along. We were created for community. And because of that we have a deep need to build relationships with others. Relationships are part of what give our lives meaning because they are the context in which we live and the reason we serve others. But probably more than any other reason, we crave relationships with others because we serve a relational God. He saw that it wasn’t good for man to be alone in the garden of eden, and so he created the woman from his flesh so that he would have a relationship with another. God, who is triune and relational by his very nature, created us so that we could know him and be known by him. And so how we relate to one another is greatly influenced by our relationship with him and vice versa. Learning how to grow in our relationships with others becomes a critical part of our discipleship process. Christ may call us individually to follow Him, but He calls many to this journey. And so we must learn to walk with and serve one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Chapter 2 - What's a Conversationalist?

The key to having a great conversation is learning to serve the other person. When you're on the receiving end of a conversation like this, you walk away from it feeling valued and truly heard. In this chapter, Russell unpacks what it means to be a conversationalist, someone who intentionally finds ways to serve others in the everyday conversations of life. It may be daunting to think about serving others in every conversation, but it can be simpler than you think. Sometimes all it takes is a friendly ear to listen and someone who truly values what the other person is saying.

Chapter 3 - Five Levels of Significant Conversations

It's challenging to start a conversation with someone as a conversationalist. If you're like me, you probably get caught up thinking about what you're going to say next while the other person bares their soul out to you. It's also tempting to think you have to turn every conversation into something life-changing. In this chapter, Russell breaks down his five levels of significant conversations. Each level, from the casual to the catalytic, can be life-changing if you know how to make the most of it.

Chapter 4 - How to Have a Better Conversation

This week Russell has explained to us why relationships are so important, what it means to be a conversationalist, and the 5 levels of the conversation. And so I hope that as you’ve listened this week you’ve seen the need in your own life to become a better conversationalist. Well we recognized it, and so we couldn’t wait to ask him how. How do we get better at having conversations with others? And so if you’ve enjoyed the other 3 parts of our conversation so far, then you’re going to love this chapter as Russell dives even deeper and brings out some of the most practical tips, yet, for becoming a better conversationalist.




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